St. Mary’s Services—Adoption and Counseling

The speaker at our lunch on August 14, 2008 was Cindy Anselmo from St. Mary’s Services in Arlington Heights. St. Mary’s is a faith-based, non-profit organization that serves women experiencing unplanned pregnancies who are considering adoption and families looking to adopt children. St. Mary’s was started in 1887 by the Episcopal Sisters of St. Mary. It was originally an orphanage, then became a foster care facility, and in the 1940s began its current focus on adoption. The service area of St.
Mary’s currently reaches north to the Wisconsin border, east to the Indiana border, south to the Bloomington, Illinois area, and west to Jo Davies County. St. Mary’s sources of funding include adoption fees, fundraising efforts, and contributions from the Episcopal Sisters of St. Mary.

A primary focus of St. Mary’s is to counsel women on adoption when they experience an unplanned pregnancy. Statistics show that 22% of children in single parent families live in poverty, whereas only 2% of children in adoptive families live in poverty. Birth mothers that consider adoption are often homeless, jobless, and without adequate clothing, food or other resources. A representative of St. Mary’s will meet weekly with the birth mother to provide emotional and often, financial support. However, St. Mary’s support of adoption faces a major challenge. Since the 1970s, single parenthood and abortion have become much more socially acceptable. Forty-nine percent of women facing an unplanned pregnancy will raise a child in a single parent
home and 50% will choose abortion, resulting in only 1% considering adoption.

A second primary focus of St. Mary’s is to counsel families that are infertile in their attempt to adopt an infant. St. Mary’s employs a rigorous approval process in order for a family to be ap-proved to adopt a child. Adoptive families that are approved by St. Mary’s then wait until they are chosen by a birth mother; there is no “list”. St. Mary’s supports “open adoptions”, where the birth and adoptive families have contact through the life of the child. St. Mary’s requires a minimum level of contact, but allows the families to otherwise choose the amount and manner of communication. St. Mary’s supports open adoptions because studies show that children and parents involved in open adoptions are less likely to later need counseling on issues related to the adoption.

Ms. Anselmo reminded us that St. Mary’s is committed to finding a good home for every child, not on merely finding a child for every family that wants to adopt. St. Mary’s is located at 717 W. Kirchoff Road, Arliington Heights, Illinois 60005-2358, 847)870-8181, www.stmaryservices.com.